Episode 5: “Endings Are Never Pretty”

The How NOT To Make A Movie Podcast
The How NOT To Make A Movie Podcast
Episode 5: “Endings Are Never Pretty”
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As the production of “Bordello Of Blood” stumbled toward its climax, we knew we’d leave Vancouver with an unfinished movie in hand. That was ironic because our unfinished movie had finished one relationship (between Sly Stallone and Angie Everhart) and was on its way to finishing another – the decade-long creative one between Alan Katz and Gil Adler. Endings are never pretty.

In this episode, things don’t so much go from bad to worse as settle into a soul-sucking certainty that the project is doomed.

On the bright side (if there was one), at least we weren’t keeping a secret from Angie any more. We had all grown fond of Angie and sympathetic to her after Sly Stallone unceremoniously dumped her in the middle of a working day. Talk about unhappy endings!

Can This Please, Please Be Over?

Tensions between cast members was high. Corey Feldman felt disrespected by Dennis Miller. So did Erika Eleniak and all of the day players – all Canadian. There was even more tension between Dennis and our Canadian crew. The crew had soured on Dennis almost as soon as he’d arrived in Vancouver. First, because he was rude. Second, because he was rude to them for being Canadian. That was weird because Dennis was married to a Canadian from Vancouver! What really annoyed the crew though was having to switch their weekends in order to accommodate Dennis and his HBO TV show’s shooting schedule.

There’s actual fisticuffs between the cast. The crew begins to desert us in droves. And, so we realize too late to do anything about it, there’s not nearly enough night time to make our shooting days. Night time in at the height of summer this far north lasts about four hours.

You’d think a bunch of savvy filmmakers would have considered that. Oh, how wrong you’d be.

Ultimately, Bordello would leave Vancouver uncompleted. And the Crypt creative team was more broken than we realized. Indeed – endings are never pretty.

But, boy, can they make for a great story! And, this being a Hollywood story, there are even a few twists and turns along the way – and an actual “Hollywood ending”.

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